I'm a paranoid mama. Period.

I don't allow people - mother-in-law or my mom - to give Larissa anything else that what I told them to. Absolutely no outside food at all.

I see some mummies giving their baby everything that they are having and I am kind of disgusted at that because in my opinion, babies should not be taking food with so much additives. I know I might offend some of you out there but it is only my opinion. I'm not gonna reprimand you for doing that but I just think that we shouldn't...

Larissa seems to have started going on milk strikes. She no longer wants to drink her milk. She take about 100mls on average and what is worse is that she is refusing to take her cereal and will stop after a few mouthfuls. Sighs....I'm not there to look after her and I don't know how I can help.

Die die want to watch tv...

 Giving her innocent face. lol.

Larissa is having fungal infection in her crotch area and her armpit - one side only.

She has been having redness at her crotch area and her armpit for the past few days. Initially, I brushed it off as nappy rash but yesterday her crotch area was a angry red color and looked like it had a fungal infection (I'm so thankful for my training as a nurse).

I found a pediatrician at Yishun which operates till 9pm and off we go to the doctors. 

Guess what the doctor said? Larissa is overweight and she is so chubby, the fats are keeping her crotch and armpit areas moist and warm - perfect for fungal infection. She initially wanted to tell me to cut down on her feeds but when she learned that Larissa is totally breastfed, she got a bit of a surprise. Hurhur...

Anyway, my poor girl now need to have her crotch and armpit area cleaned with purple lotion 4 times a day. The thing is...the pediatrician says that it will come back coz this will be a recurring problem! Wah Piang!!

I only realised recently that my life seems to have come to a halt after the birth of Larissa. There are so many things that I had plans for before I got pregnant and they all seem to be so far away and out of reach.

First of all, my motorcycle licence. I was at Practical 4 before I got pregnant. Only 4 more lessons to go. I'm contemplating going for lesson soon. I have to get my motorcycle!

Secondly, my plan to go for a diploma. I have only got a NITEC and its not sufficient. I'm planning a diploma in business, sales and marketing or even something to do with the media industry.

Thirdly, I haven't been clubbing for more than a year! I was walking home yesterday, listening to the songs on my iphone and a R&B song came up and I soooooo miss grooving to the music! I was almost dancing on the streets! haha...

In order for me to fulfill all of those, I think I will have to wait till I wean Larissa off breastmilk. Sighs....

Its a long way to go seeing that I intend to total breastfeed Larissa until she turns one year old.

My precious Larissa might have to go to an infant care centre soon. My mother-in-law who is taking care of her at the moment, has decided that she does not want to stay home to look after Larissa and that she is better off working outside.

I must say that is pretty interesting, seeing that she used to be a babysitter and would spend her days at home looking after other people's children. 

Perhaps its because of my "high-expectations". My insisting on no water for Larissa and cannot anyhow feed Larissa - I'm now insisting on no porridge, only purees and cereal for Larissa - which she is very unfamiliar with.

Maybe coz of my wanting her to bathe Larissa while I am at home...before I go to work, so that I can test the water temperature before she bathe Larissa. 

Its not that I want to nit-pick over what she does but the very first day she took over taking care of Larissa, she almost cooked burnt my poor baby alive. I was getting ready for work when my mother-in-law was bathing her. I heard a yell from Larissa and I thought it was weird since she is normally quite a quiet baby so I went to take a look and I found her lower body all red. I then tested the water and it was scorching hot! I got quite a shock myself and told my mother-in-law to put in more cold water as its too hot. My mother-in-law then mumbled that she on the hot water and forgot to check the temperature before placing baby in the tub. I was flabbergasted but I don't believe what she said. I know that she has a habit of shampooing Larissa's head while carrying her before putting her into the tub. This happened not once, but twice - I checked the water another time and found the water to be very hot. I seriously suspect there is something wrong with my mother-in-law's sense of touch....how to trust like that?

She also has the habit of getting Larissa's bathwater ready and not bathing her immediately. She will take her time to play with Larissa - something I don't like because the water would have cooled down too much already...Sighs.

I read from some mommies that eating oat actually helps increase one's milk supply thus

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I brought a tin of this to eat in office. No more rice! Only oatmeal!

My poor little baby had her 5th month jab on Tuesday and she had a fever on Wednesday. Poor Larissa woke up in the middle of the night on Tuesday and started fussing. It was only when I held her in my arms that she slept and even when she slept, she was whining. So poor thing right? She refuses to be put down to sleep and will cry out loud the moment I put her on the bed. I ended up having to carry her in my arms to sleep. 

I had to call my boss to tell him that I am on urgent leave in the morning. Larissa was at 38.1 degrees already and I cannot bear to bring myself to go to work.

The poor little thing was so whiny. I tried to feed her medication but she vomited and she vomited a lot, so much that she scared me. Thankfully, her fever went down later on in the afternoon. Sighs...My poor baby...

She vomited the second time I tried to feed her medication as well but this time, I haven't even fed her the medication, I simply placed the syringe next to her mouth. I think she just can't stand the smell of the medication....

Larissa when she was feeling a tad better.

Did you know that dolphins die of stress in captivity?

Did you know that Taiji, Japan is the largest supplier of show dolphins all over the world and that the dolphins that are not selected for the shows are killed for their meat?

The dolphinanium in Taiji, Japan, you can watch and eat dolphins and whales all at the same time?

When the International Whaling Comission banned commercial whaling in 1986, Japan reacted by tripling its killing of dolphins and porpoises.

Every year, 23,000 dolphins and porpoises are killed in Taiji, Japan.

They claim that it is in their culture to hunt dolphins but in truth, majority of their population do not know of this.

JAPAN IS TRYING TO HIDE THE FACT THAT SO MANY DOLPHINS ARE KILLED!

Filming is not allowed at The Cove, Taiji, Japan because they do not want the fact to be out. They know that if the world knows this, they will be stopped.

A lot of the dolphin meat sold in the world is passed off as whale meat because dolphin meat is toxic. It has high levels of mercury, at least 1000 times more than the recommended amount and can cause deformed babies in pregnant women. 

Take a look at the video in the link. The red pool is the blood from the dolphins killed. That one dolphin that you see struggling was speared.

The Japanese government actually tell their fishermen that dolphins are pests because they are depleting the fish in the ocean. Why are they doing that? Because they don't want to listen to the englishman, They are egoistic bastards.

Please sign the petition on facebook and save the dolphins.

The Cove PSA - My Friend Is....

This is so freaking irritating. I cannot upload videos. I have no idea why!

Instead of showing the video upload button, it shows a broken link. 

ARGH!!!!

I feel like a pig...because

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I finished a whole bar of chocolate in one sitting

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AND I TOOK LUNCH!

Hubby's Birthday

Its Monday again. Another dreaded day at work.

I have been very careless at work, keyed in two of my customers' orders wrongly and I was informed that I will have to pay for them. Sighs.

Haven't even got my first full pay check and already I have to pay money.

Whats worse is that I forgot to bring my ice pack and bag today so I have to borrow the fridge from the HR department. So sucky!

Anyway, it was hubby's birthday yesterday and we spent the day at my mom's place. We cabbed from Sembawang to Toa Payoh at about 11am. The moment we got there, we split the loot! My mom bought lots of imitation LV  bags and told me to choose one. I'm not rich enough to carry the real one lah. Anyway, I really am not suited to carry branded bags, it will always look fake on me. LOL

Later on, we all went to Toa Payoh to get our eyebrows shaped. I opted to have my face threaded as well. It really is a very painful experience. I can still feel pain now lor...ended up got talked into signing up a $150 for 12 times package. Ok lah...I like the way she shaped my brows so that it is not over plucked like most of the other people who shaped for me make it.

I brought Larissa out in the Baby Bjorn and I noticed many aunties who will actually sneak up on me and start touching Larissa's thighs! Alamak, shocked me a bit lah...I'm carrying her leh. Feels almost like they are touching me. LOL..

After we had our dinner at Toa Payoh Central, hubby went prawning with my sisters and their friends. I don't wanna go coz if I did, I'll have to stay there with him until about 10pm so lonely Larissa and me went to buy a cake for hubby. I told him that I will not be buying anything for him and not to expect anything so it was meant to be a surprise for him.

Luckily I took a cab back to Sembawang after that coz it started raining cats and dogs soon after I boarded the cab.

Stupid hubby got home only at about 11pm and we brought out the cake and sang a song for him. Larissa is in dreamland already so no pictures of her.

2nd Year Anniversary

How time flies.....its our 2nd anniversary tomorrow. 

I wonder what are we gonna do to celebrate. Actually, I really don't feel like celebrating. I'd rather just spend time with Larissa tomorrow. 

I seriously need to express on weekends. On weekdays in office, my average per express will only field about 120mls but Larissa is drinking 150 mls already. My supply in the freezer will only last one week of topping up. 

I pray that I will have the strength and determination to at least hit the 6 month mark. That's just one more month of hard work. I really don't think I will be able to hang on till she is one year old. I'm able to express 3 times a day only because now is the off-peak season at work and its a bit more relaxed. I really cannot imagine what it's like during peak season. I probably won't even have time to go for lunch, not to mention time to go express. Sighs...

Anyway, Larissa is now able to sit up though she still falls over sometimes. She also keeps wanting to stand up when we carry her down to sit. She will stretch her legs out straight and just refuse to sit. She is learning new things every. Sighs...My little baby is growing up!

There - she is sitting up.

Seeing that she had no other toys save for her walker to keep her occupied, I rented a exersaucer for her to play in. It costs me $55 for a month. You can get one for your little one from www.rent-a-toy.com 

As its rented, please don't expect it to be in brand new condition. The one I rented had a bit of wear and tear but still had sounds and it still lights up so I reckon its okay. The first two days I put Larissa in there, she actually cried. I think she felt kind of overwhelmed. After 2 days, she sort of warmed up to the exersaucer but she will sit in there for 20 minutes max and then start crying to be carried. I actually thought of buying it initially, so lucky that I rented it first.

I intend to rent a different toy for her every month so that she will have new toys to play every month.Go rent one for your kid too!

Larissa in her exersaucer

It Works!

If you checked out my earlier posts, I mentioned that I will post up reviews of the products I ordered from iHerb that supposedly help to boost milk supply.

 I have started on the Organic Mother's Milk Herbal Tea for about two weeks. Before I took the tea, each session of expressing will yield me about 90~100mls of breast milk. After I took the tea, my supply started increasing!

My average yield per session has now increased to about 130~150 mls! Amazing isn't is?

Imagine my surprise when I got 210mls this morning! All this while expressing at work! Woots!

Quick, use this code DOH681 to place your order now on iHerb.com. 

I am not doing an advertisement, this is what I really experienced!

My brainless mother!!

I'm so effing angry with my mom! Can you believe that she actually fed Larissa half boiled egg and sugar sweetened barley?

I've told her million times not to feed Larissa anything else but her milk but she just don't listen!

Babies aren't supposed to take eggs as eggs, especially half boiled ones may contain salmonella - a kind of bacteria which is life threatening to a baby! Some babies are also allergic to eggs and it can be life threatening!

Larissa is not showing any symptoms but I'm considering taking her to the PD to have her checked to make sure she's ok.

Damn my mother. God damn her wretched soul.

She's supposed to take care of my baby but that bitch went to the casino and gambled from dusk till dawn! How can I entrust my baby to her when she hasn't slept the whole night?

So angry with her!!!

Larissa's 4th Month Vaccination

I took half day's leave to bring Larissa for her 4th month's vaccination at Yishun Polyclinic yesterday.

We arrived early and I had the chance to feed her before her vaccination. (there was a nursing room just right beside the vaccination rooms, which is a pretty nice touch). She hasn't passed motion for an entire week and then she decided that she shall do it at the polyclinic. Grrr...

The stupid thing is....the babies' changing table is located OUTSIDE THE TOILET, which means that I had to change her in full view of the public! Mind you, she is doing her big business leh! Ccan you imagine the dirty looks that people who walked pass gave me? I should write in to complain....

Anyway, the wait was pretty short as we arrived early. The amazing thing was...Larissa did not cry! She grunted a bit but she did not cry out loud at all! Oh, I'm so proud of my little baby. I'm not sure if its because she has a high pain tolerance or because that she is simply too fat to feel the needle. lol...

At 4 months old, Larissa is already 8.22kg. Most of my friends' babies are only about 6.5kg at 6 months so it makes Larissa kinda obese! People keep asking what am I feeding her and I swear that I feed her only breastmilk and nothing else, not even water! lol...

Oh dear, I am missing her already. Here's some of my darling's pictures for your viewing pleasure. lol...

Before she had her hair shaved off

After she had her hair shaved off

New Job

Just started my new job yesterday. Quite an easy job I think. Save for the fact that I got only 7 days leave a year and that I work 9 hours a day.

The pros are that its only a few bus stops away from hubby's place and that lunch is provided! Heehee...imagine the money I will save.

Amazingly, the lunch served today had sea cucumber! Wah, like very rich hor? lol.

Anyway, its not easy for me to leave Larissa in the care of others to return to the workforce. Yes, she is on my mind all the time and I am so very afraid that my milk supply will drop. I've only got at max, enough frozen supply for 2 days.

On the very first day of work, I ordered fernugreek extract and mother's tea from iHerb.com worth $130. Very kiasu hor? Just in case my supply drop lor. Currently I am only expressing 100 mls per pump and Larissa is feeding on 130 mls per session leh.

I think I must really pump more. I shall have to pump in the morning before I go to work and at night after she sleeps.

Its really tough being a breastfeeding mom!

Anyway, if you decide to order from iHerb.com, you can use DOH681. This is a one time $5 discount. Oh, there is also free international shipping for orders above USD60. Take a look at the following items that I bought. The reviews are very good and I too, will post up my reviews once I receive my stash and start consuming them.

Organic Mother's Milk


Fenugreek Extract

I hope this will help all you working mothers out there who are afraid that your supply will drop!

How can I forget to mention my darling daughter, Larissa? She is doing very well without me, too well in fact. Makes me feel like I'm only her milk cow and she don't really give a damn as long as she gets her milk. Grrr.....

Here a photo of her doing very well without me, taken by my hubby.

Separation Anxiety Is Setting In!

I fear that once I go to work, I will not be determined enough to express my breast milk everyday for Larissa.

I fear that Larissa will be uncomfortable without me around.

I fear that my MIL will spoil her.

I fear so many things.

I think I am driving myself crazy. Gosh!

I feel like crying. Just the thought of leaving my baby.

I know its for the best but I really don't like the idea of leaving my baby to my MIL.

SOBS

New Job

I got a job offer today and the company is one that is only a few bus stops away from my husband's place. The basic is only 1.6k before comission. Of course I accepted the job.

Right now as I lie in bed, i worry about having to leave Larissa at home while I go to work. I'm worried that my supply of milk will not be adequate for her. I'm worried that my MIL will spoil her. I'm afraid that she might forget me and not be as close to me as she is.

I want to call the company and tell them I don't wanna work anymore! Sighs. Like that how? I feel like crying..

If only I married a man rich enough to let me be a stay at home mom. Sighs....

New Job

I got a job offer today and the company is one that is only a few bus stops away from my husband's place. The basic is only 1.6k before comission. Of course I accepted the job.

Right now as I lie in bed, i worry about having to leave Larissa at home while I go to work. I'm worried that my supply of milk will not be adequate for her. I'm worried that my MIL will spoil her. I'm afraid that she might forget me and not be as close to me as she is.

I want to call the company and tell them I don't wanna work anymore! Sighs. Like that how? I feel like crying..

If only I married a man rich enough to let me be a stay at home mom. Sighs....

Still on the search

It's been close to 3 weeks since I quit my job and I'm still on the hunt for a job.

Staying at home has caused me and my husband to quarrel more than ever before and I'm actually starting to detest him.

What's worse is seeing my FIL slack at home doing nothing. It's really irritating to see a man who just don't want to hold down a job. All he does is sleep on the sofa in the living room or go out and drink. Did I mention that he never bothers to wash up after eating? He will rush to be the first to have his dinner and just leave his plate on the sink. So bloody ireitaring!

Anyway, I went for an interview last Friday and I think that job is perfect for me. I have a direct bus there from my husband's place and not to mention that the manager is cute as well. I'm still waiting for a reply from them which I think will probaby be tomorrow. In the meantime, i've got an interview tomorrow and another one on Thursday. I do keep my fingers crosses though.

Larissa has been constipated for the past one week or so. I thought that breastfeed babies shouldn't be constipated but somehow mine is. I think I'll have to bring her to the doctor soon.

Absurd!

The most absurd thing happened yesterday. My FIL tried to borrow $150 from me! FYI, my FIL is a gambler. Only a few days ago, he informed my MIL that there might be loansharks coming up to splash paint. His excuse? He was gaurantor for somebody else's loans. My MIL was livid. From what I heard, this is not his first time giving the excuse of being a guarantor and they all know that he was the one who borrowed the money.

Yesterday morning, someone came to knock the door at 8am in the morning. My FIL let him in and they talk a bit about horses (thats what he loves to gamble) and my FIL kept mention 18th of March. I think he meant that he will pay the guy on 18th of March.

Apparently, this man lives around this area and my FIL has been borrowing money from him. Sighs. Oh, did I mention that my FIL is out of job?

He is one ridiculous man. He wants a job that does not require him to carry heavy load, work for a few hours a day only and gives him a van or lorry to drive home. So for the past one year, he has been job hopping. Either because working hours is too long, no transport to drive home or no cpf contribution. He tried a new job recently and gave up after 2 days so he is currently at home shaking leg.

And, he is the kind of man who will scold my MIL using vulgarities. Damn, I really don't like him. Even my MIL loathes the sight of him.

Worse of all, he always come home stinking of liquor and still asks to carry my baby. I can't say no coz he's my FIL so I will ask my hubby to tell him that baby wanna sleep already.

Back to the topic, he bloody well knows that I am out of a job and yet he has the face to borrow money from me! When all he does is stay home shake leg! I don't think he is going to return the money to the man anyway, more like he is gonna go gambling (Horse races on Wednesday).

I haven't seen a man so useless in my life. I'm being very mean but I curse that he get banged down by a car while crossing the road in his drunken stupor. Even my MIL curses him so it should be alright I guess. LOL.

 Oh, I did not lend him any money. I don't like to even talk to him. Men like him don't get my respect. The only reason I haven't flared my temper at him is coz he is my husband's dad.