YAY! Its my last day of work before I go for my maternity leave! End of suffering at last! Sighs...I just hate working for my manager. He always give me uncompleted work and expects me to clear his shit for him. He always expects to go around the system by emailing his superior or talking to the CEO. Blah...Keep telling him that it doesn't work that way but...whatever I'll probably tender my resignation after my resignation...

Anyway, I took a couple of photos last night that shows how bad my water retention is...

See the dent? Scary right?

My left ankle is more swollen.

I hate it when people keep asking me if I'm excited that baby is coming already. No, I am not excited. In fact, I am more scared then excited. How am I supposed to expect pain? How does one prepare for the pain to come? Sighs....

Anyway, got bored at work and sneaked off to the toilet to take some photos. Heehee...More photos of my stretch marks. Watermelon skin so fugly!

Whats weird is that my stretch marks only appear on the left side of my tummy, not much on the right side. No idea why like that..

Went for my 37th week check up yesterday. Baby is already 3.1kg! Its been only two weeks and she's gained 700g already! 3 more weeks to go! What if she puts on more weight? She'll be like 4kg by then!

OMG! Will I have to go for c-section? Damn....baby, you better come out soon or your mama will kill you!LOL...

Had an argument with hubby again yesterday. Still arguing over who to look after baby. His mom or my mom. I told him that it will be difficult for me if I see his mom doing something that I dont like and yet I can't say anything and he actually retorted me that what if my mom did something and he doesn't like it? Ended up with him scolding me saying that I never spare a thought for his feelings.

Men. Never listening to reasons. I told him that if we were to get his mom to look after our kid, we're better off getting a maid. At least I can scold the maid if she does something wrong, I can't possibly scold his mom when she does something wrong right? What more, a maid only costs $500 which is almost half of what his mother is asking for. The maid can do housework and my laundry as well. If his mom were to take care of our kid for us, you think I can ask her to do the laundry for me?

I don't understand how some people can go to bed without showering. My sister does that. My hubby does that sometimes.

The bed is where one spends 8 hours or more a day! Thats like one-third of your one whole day!

My sister is really what I call a disgusting pig. She can be out from 5pm to 11pm and just change and plonk down and fall asleep on her bed. No wonder her skin condition is disasterous. Its so damn digusting! Whats worse is her lame excuse that she did not pespire the whole time she was out.

OMG. No common sense! Doesn't she know that dirt and dust can get attached to us no matter we pespire or not?

YUCKS big time! I will not even sit on my bed if I haven't showered after reaching home! Imagine the amount of bacteria that they bring home and they even sleep with the bacteria.

I know I'm a kinda paranoid but I just find it disgusting. Revolting actually.

I am starting to feel fearful of having my confinement done by my mom.....

The food that she normally cooks is already unfit for human consumption. Its either too oily, too salty or overcooked. Its really scary...Its no wonder that my sisters and myself are so fat...thanks to my mom's generosity with the amout of oil that she puts in the food she cooks.

Now, try to imagine a bowl of pig's throtters in vinegar with a thick thick layer of oil on top....and I'm supposed to finish the sauce. BLEAH! I think I might end up puking even before I start eating!

If only I were rich enough, I'd employ a proper confinement nanny to cook for me and look after my baby. I know what a slipshod person my mom is. Sighs....it all boils down to $$$$$...

Now I'm considering to let my mom or my mother in law look after the baby after confinement. Sighs...my mother in law said that she will quit her job and take care of our baby for us but we are to pay her $900 a month which is her current salary and that does not include baby's expenses e.g. diapers and milk powder. I'm thinking if we can afford it. Our combined income is only $3k....

I can choose to put baby with my mom, there will be maids to look after her but we will not be with her from Mondays to Fridays as its too troublesome for us to bring her to Toa Payoh and fetch her back to Sembawang everyday. But...my mom says we only need to give her $500 a month which includes baby's expenses. Problem is, my grandma just sold her flat and she will be moving in to stay with my family very soon so there will be 9 people living in a 3rm flat which is really overcrowded and I feel a bit heartache being unable to see my baby for 5 days in a week.

Sighs.......decisions....

Die lah...My water retention is getting real bad. I can't remove my wedding band! Shucks!

Better go try soap and water to remove it before my blood supply gets cut by the ring. Can't imagine blood supply being cut and finger turning gangrene. HAha...I think too much.

Times seems to come to a standstill when you are expecting something.

8 more days to my maternity leave. 24 more days to baby's arrival.

Seems like an eternity.

I think my face is swollen already. ZzzzZzz..

Everyday is a prelude to the birth of my little princess. I feel like I am struggling every single day. The regular 5 min walk to the mrt can now take me 15 mins. Its tough for me to walk any faster as she is pressing on my bladder and with every step, I feel an increasing urge to pee.

My back aches from having to carry so much extra weight and my hubby is too lazy to give me a massage. I need a good rub down. Sighs....

I feel exhausted all the time. 12 hours of sleep doesn't seem to be sufficient at all. I can sleep throughout the day. In fact, I'd sleep throughout the day if I can.

I am getting more and more stretch marks! Yikes! What can I do to prevent them? Hubby commented that my skin looks like watermelon already! ALAMAK!!!

I think I'm dying.

My back aches. So does my tummy. I can't walk for long distances already. Baby is pressing on my bladder and I constantly feel a need to go pee.

I'm feeling very tired. I can sleep 12 hours a day and yet still feel exhausted.

Can I just lie in bed and not get out?

Can I have baby induced? I'm considering having baby induced.

Although I plan to have a natural birth...Sighs...plans change when one is suffering. lol.

I will try to bear with it.....I'll try!

Sighs...its tiring to be living on a shoestring budget everyday. Its like, there's so many things that I want to do but am unable to afford.

Seriously, I can't imagine what life will be like 10 or 20 years down the road. I am no longer living for myself, I am living for my baby and I can't just do things on a whim. I can't just quit my job just because I don't enjoy what I am doing.

I got to think twice because I have a mouth to feed. I hate living my life like that. I am an Aquarius. We are free people who will not be tied down but here I am, being tied down by this thing in me.

Sometimes I do think if its a mistake. Having a baby so early in life. Are we pushing things a little too far?

There are times when I question myself. Why did I marry my husband? Do I really love him?

One thing that I know for sure when I married him is that he will never have an affair. Why? He is too dependent on me. He relies on me all the time, on everything. Yes, I really mean everything. Like our application for a HDB flat, I have to do everything by myself and I really mean every single thing. Sighs...

It can be mentally draining at times but I guess that is the price to pay for a Silly Hubby whom I know will never do anything behind my back.

I can read him like a book and I don't think he got the guts to do anything behind my back. He knows that I will KILL him! LOL

He sticks to me like a leech and I've got no freedom....well, thats what I got to sacrifice for a hubby like that. Do you think its worth it? I have no idea either. At least him running away and having an affair is the least of my worries. Haha....

I am irritated with my hubby!

Yesterday evening, I was lying in bed when I decided to lift my shirt to inspect my tummy and I realised that I have more stretch marks at the bottom of my tummy. I was so upset at the sight of these new stretch marks and I had to examine them further so I pushed my tummy up a bit and I was grumbling to my hubby about the new stretch marks when I got a scolding from him.

Hubby: “Don't push so hard lah, you'll hurt the baby!”
Me: “Wah lao eh, your baby is protected by the amniotic fluid leh!”
(Me thinking, “KNN, all you care about is your baby lah. I'm getting stretch marks all over for your baby but you don't even care!”)

Fiaked up right? Wah lao eh, how insensitive can he be? I'm getting new stretch marks everyday and all he thinks is that if I press on my tummy too hard, I will hurt his baby!

How insensitive can a man get?

I seriously don't understand....I know that the best way to fight water retention is to drink more water. I drink more than 2 litres of water everyday and I can still get water retention!!! What the FIAK? It doesn't make sense at all! Ok lah..my water retention isn't really that bad and it only shows at the ankles. When I press hard on the flesh for 5 secs, the flesh will be dented in. Sighs...

My stretch marks are growing. For you ladies out there who complain of having those white stretch marks, I tell you, its nothing compared to those red and angry looking ones. Yup, I'm getting those. You get those when you really "ssstreeetccchhh". My nightmare is only just beginning.....

How do you know when you are getting seriously obese? When your inner thighs start rubbing against each other and starts chafting!! ARGH!!!!

Sighs. Just called up HDB's Credit Department to confirm hubby's loan application documents. Turns out that he is considered a freelancer so its highly probable that the loan amount will be entirely based on my salary. With my kind of salary....at the most loan get $150k nia.

Like that how lah? Can we find a flat at that price? Of course not lah. Wah piang eh. Damn sian one leh. Early in the morning get this kind of fucked up news really very depressing.

Just sent another email to HDB's Rental Department to check if we are eligible to rent a flat from HDB directly. I think we will have to make another trip down to HDB to make an enquiry in person. SIAN!

I am starting to feel tired easily these days. It feels like I can never get enough sleep everyday and I am dragging my dead body to work.

In the office, I can easily doze off. Sighs...3 more weeks to my maternity leave. Feels like an eternity...

The days feel longer and longer. Baby keeping me up at night makes me feel like I'm not getting any sleep at night.

3 more weeks.......3 more weeks......3 MORE WEEKS!!!!

Its gonna be a long day today. Didn't sleep well last night. No idea why but I just kept waking up during the night. zzzZzzZZzzz...

Had a scare this morning. Went to the toilet when I first reached office this morning and scared myself silly when there's fresh red blood in the toilet bowl. I passed urine only and there was blood...then I realised that its from my anus.

Duh....I'm probably having piles lah. Nothing serious. I kept wiping to make sure that its from my anus and not from my vagina. Haha....What a way to wake one up in the morning eh?

Its gonna be a long day ahead. I'll have to go Toa Payoh later to retrieve my netbook's box, go buy hubby's shaver blades and a new fan. The one that we're using is dying on us...and I'm already falling asleep. ZZzzzz.....

How does one know that one is getting really very very fat? When one realises that he/she can no longer cross her legs properly and thats what I am experiencing! I'm put on 25 kg! ARGH!!!

I almost died last night. We tried to sleep without the aircon and I swear, I almost died. I feel so suffocated and hot. I was pespiring when I tried to sleep....I couldn't breathe. In the end, I switched on the aircon.

My back is starting to ache a bit. I get breathless very easily. I can't finish my meal without take a break in between. I feel giddy. I'm almost in distress already.

And I'm only 33 weeks?! Damn....I'm DYING ALREADY!

☆.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·☆¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸¸.·☆


Anyway, we sold off our PSP yesterday. We bought it from a friend for $250 about a year ago and we sold it off for $150. Loss of $100 but we take it as depreciation. We had no use for it anyway...if we do play, we're always fighting over it. So might as well take back some money from it.

I'm also trying to sell my netbook. Thinking of buying a proper laptop after selling of this netbook.

I like this netbook. Its got 6 cell battery can last up to 5 hours. Only problem is that the screen is too small for me at 10inches and I hate having to squint at the screen. Oh, the keyboard also poses a problem to my hubby...He only knows the one finger typing skill and the keyboard is too small for him. LOL...

Its Children's Day today. Come this time next year and I will be celebrating it with my little girl. Sighs....sometimes, it still scares me to know that I'm gonna be a mother soon.

Anyway, I was reading a blog that I found of a girl from Flowerpod. Its damn funny lah...not funny as in what she posted on the blog but the way she seeks attention. She goes around the forum telling people that she used to be bullied and teased for being fat and that she is losing weight already...all the blah blah blah...

I went through her blog, looked at her photos and guess what? She is still fat. You can see from her posts dating back to 2007 that she has been talking about losing weight and she has never done it. Whats funnier is that she has not posted any photos of herself for the past 2 months.

And she said she lost weight? I don't see a change in her from the photos dating back to 2007 to the photos posted 2 months ago. HAHA....Attention seeker!