Inability to Move On..

It has been twelve days since the break up.

I managed to stop crying myself to sleep and crying when I get up. I have gotten used to the silence at home when he is not around. I have started dancing again. I have booked a dive trip to Philippines next month. 

I am trying hard to get him out of my system but I realised that I am doing all the things that he used to tell me to do. He has always told me to go do all the things I loved but I was happy to come home to him, so much that I stopped all my activities. 

I stopped drinking as much after the last time I got tipsy after an argument after our break up. I have been sticking to the two glasses max that I promised him when we were together. 

I still dream of him. I dream of him climbing into bed with me, holding me tight and telling me that everything will be alright and that kills me sometimes. Cause I know that he will never come back. 

A part of me wants to let him go, to get him out of my life, to get on with my life. Another part of me is still hopeful that he will come back and things will get better. It tears me into two at times. 

The paranoia in me is well managed now. I no longer need to know where is he or what is he doing. I have no right to know anyway. He lives his own life now. He is his own person and he is moving on just fine. 

I'm still living in memories, holding them close to my heart and rethinking what I could have done to make the relationship better. I guess I am someone who lives in memories. 

I know I shouldn't be holding on, I know I should let him go and that I should move on. It's really hard to do when one really loves with all one's heart and soul. 

There's a spot for him in my heart forever, that I know. I should stop clinging onto memories. Memories has no power. Memories are just memories. 

Perhaps I'm just unsettled by how fast he manages to move on. It's like there is a switch in him that just decided to switch off his love for me. No matter how hard I try, it means nothing to him anymore. 

In my head, in my heart

I'm not packed and moved on

Now you're here, now you're gone

Turn the lights off and on

And we're so scared to choose,

Will we win, will we lose?

'Cause love still lives here.

In your eye, in your face

It's like nothing has changed

And I want to believe that it isn't too late

On my skin when we touch

I can still feel the rush

'Cause love still lives here

Could we go just a little bit longer

I don't know if it's right or wrong but, 

Just for now, nothing is over

Can we try just a little bit harder?

We'll burn just a little bit brighte

Tell me now, nothing is over

Nothing is over

Turn the clock, let's go back 

Clear what was and we'll start from scratch

And you walk up t me, I'll be wearing that dress

And you ask me to stay, swear I won't run away

'Cause love begins here

Now can't you see, it's hiding there

Right underneath the mess we made

All we gotta do, is clear it all away

The Now Ex Boyfriend

My last blog post mentioned a partner. He is now my ex partner. Yes, we broke up.

I only have myself to thank for it. He has moved on and I'm holding on to the pain, Trying my best to move on but going round and round in circles. Crying myself to sleep and waking up only to remember that he is no longer with me and crying again. 

He was good to me but I let my previous relationship with my cheating ex husband get to me. I was paranoid about him texting other woman, to the extent that I kept checking him phone every day, I suffocated him. I was a bully who kept trying to teach him what to do, even when it came to his work. 

I was dismissive of his successes, I didn't know how to love him. I am a failure. I kept pushing him away when he kept trying. Unknowingly, he broke down my defenses. I came to love him in a way I never did before. 

We were cohabiting and he came home everyday to me but I demanded that he make a day for me even though his work was very demanding. I treated him badly. 

I didn't understand how his work is important to him and kept demanding. I didn't realise it all until I'd lose him. 

I realised it all too late. He told me he'd never leave me and I took that for granted. Now, it all comes back to haunt me. I keep thinking about how he told me to not give up easily, how he told me he'll never leave. 

I want to keep trying but he has given up. It felt like a stab in the heart when he told me he was done fighting for me. I know I should move on but I don't think it will be anytime soon. I even dream of him. Just last night, I dreamt of him textimg me, us having a nice conversation and getting back together only to wake up and burst into tears. 

I know he has always wanted the best for me and I want to turn this negativity into positivity. I know he has left a very deep mark on me. I want to be able to look back one day and say yes, he left his mark on me, a positive mark. 

I know this will take time, I know that it will hurt. I just didn't know it will hurt this bad. 

What are your goals in life?

Had this discussion with the partner (yes, I'm seeing someone now) the other day and thought I'd blog about it.

As a mother, it seems like I am supposed to give up my life and my goals. People tell me that my goal should be focused on my daughter. They say things like, "you should be focusing on her; make sure she is doing well in school and not thinking about yourself."

Is this how things work? I am human too. I have my dreams, my goals and things I want to do and achieve in life. Are we still human if we gave up all we want for another person?

I dream of travelling the world, I dream of riding my motorcycle to travel the world and I dream of scuba diving in all the beautiful places that mother earth has to offer. These are my dreams and my goals. I want to achieve all these before I grow to old. I want to be able to share stories of my travels with kiddo and travel with her when she grows older.

L is important in my life but there is so much more than just being focused on her academically and monitoring her progress in school. I want her to live life vivaciously, to embrace life and all the this world has to offer.

What are your goals?

Thoughts on the Past

I know I said that I'm moving on to a new blog but I was looking through at some of the comments readers have left for me over the years and it made me think...a lot. I really don't think I should post this on my new blog so here I go again.

Many readers have shared that they were going through the same problems in their marriage and were thinking about divorce. Well, no two stories are the same. What I did (moving out and getting a divorce) may not be something that everyone will do.

My stance is this, if a man cheats on you the first time, he will cheat on you again. At least mine did. Life hasn't been a bed of roses after I left him. To a certain extent, I feel that I'm still quite a conservative person. If I were to date again and the man is never married, I feel that there will be some stigma about divorcees, especially from his parents and relatives. Yes, I have dated since its almost been four years since the separation but I have never gone to the meet the parents stage. I just...don't feel comfortable about it so none of my relationships lasted.

A single parent means being the only one to attend to all your child's needs so your childcare leave will never be sufficient. All the meet the parents sessions and whats not. You have to be prepared to sacrifice. To be honest, once you are a single parent, you give up most of your social life.

I've never allowed L to get too close to the people I dated for fear of her growing attached and ending up feeling lost when the relationship goes south. I don't allow myself to fall because I have other responsibilities.

If you are reading this and are in a bad relationship or your partner cheated, think twice before you decide to get a divorce. It can be a very tough decision to make when kids are involved. Are you financially independent? Can you be financially independent? How would it affect the kids?

Go for marriage counselling. Find out what went wrong in your relationship. I believe that it takes two hands to clap. A marriage falling apart can also be because you have changed. You may not realise it but it happens. Once a woman has kids, her priority changes as well. Is your partner able to adjust too? Could it be that you neglected him because of your kids?

Now, I am not trying to be patronising here but seriously, think it through.If you decide to leave him or her, good on you. The next thing you need to learn, is to forgive. I have seen people who went through very bitter divorces and end up fighting everyday even after the divorce. As a woman, be prepared to not receive child support or maintenance. Unless you want to spend your days bitter and fighting in court.

Yes, the man has responsibilities for the kid too but if he wouldn't have cheated in the first place if responsibility is something that he even considered. He wasn't responsible to you, he will not be responsible for the kid(s).

The bitterness will eat you from inside out and cause you to go through a lot of unnecessary pain. It will be twice as tough if you can't let it go...

So yeah, these are my thoughts and I really hope my readers don't have to go through all the pain. Email me if you need someone to talk to. I can't give much advice, but I will try my best to be your listening ear.

From A Reader

So I received mail in the office the other day. Nothing unusual right? So why am I blogging about this? Clients sent letters with their cheques to us all the time so I thought its a cheque from a client.

The first odd thing was that it was addressed to my full name. I really did not put much thought to it but on hindsight, I realised that none of my clients know my full name and most know me as Ivy.

This was what was in the letter. Yes, it appears to be a letter from a reader of my blog. Then again, I have never disclosed my full name or even where I am working in this blog so one can imagine the shock I got.

Dear reader, if you are reading this, thank you for the gift. It is very much appreciated and everyone around me knows how much I love getting NTUC vouchers. It appears that you know me really well, probably even better than I know myself. If it is not too much to ask for, please contact me via email at ivy.q@outlook.sg and let me know where you got all the information from so that I can remove it off any social media platform.

As you can see, I am a mother to a kid and it is a bit of a concern to learn that we can be so easily traced. I really hope to hear from you soon.

Yes, this freaked me out a little but its sweet - in a way. So...I hope this kind reader will contact me. :)

Looking Back at 2014

It feels like forever since I updated my blog and its almost the end of 2014. I must apologize for the lack of updates as I have been mad busy. So, here's looking back at what I managed to achieve the past one year.

1. Got a place to call my own and rented one room out. With the rental yield, I managed to get a personal accident, life insurance and an endowment policy for Larissa and myself!

Exactly how I felt when I got my own home

2. Backpacked alone in Hoi Chi Minh for the first time in my life survived a horrible bout of fever during the trip that came out of nowhere and subsided as mysteriously as it came. #didnotdie

 3. Completed the foundation course which is a Certificate in Business Management so I can start on a private diploma in 2015. Not to mention that I didn't do too badly for it. 2 As, 1 B and 1 C. Yeah, I know...only a certificate but still...

4. Completed my first half marathon, the Penang Bridge International Marathon! My timing was crappy though. I haven't ran for more than 7 months and to think that the first run I go for is a half marathon. I wore ill fitted running shoes and two weeks after coming back to SG, there was pus leaking from underneath my toenail and I have to cut the damn thing off.

5. Found partners to start an online business, assisting another in her online business, managing a Facebook group and also starting a forum!!!!

6. I am now in the midst of organizing a major donation drive for a childrens' home as well!

7. Starting picking up make up tricks to make myself look more presentable so this is what I look like now.

It really doesn't feel like much now that I've typed it all out but it has really been a mad busy year for me and I'm looking forward to 2015! I bet you must be wondering about Larissa. We just celebrated her birthday in Penang during my run. Its funny to think that I was just carrying a baby and she has now turned five. Time really flies. Anyway, this is what she looks like now. 

I think that's all for now. Till next time!

1st Month In

How does one describe moving into one's own place? If you asked me, I'd say it was extremely exhausting and financially draining.

I never realised how much money has to be pumped into a home as I have always lived with my mother. Imagine my astonishment when I only realised that there was not a single clothes peg in the house only after doing a round of laundry and had to go out and get some.

I am, admittedly not the neatest person when I lived with my mother and definitely not at work. My colleagues will tell you that my office desk often resemble a battlefield. Somehow, this is not the same at home. I come home to vacuum the floor almost everyday, or at least when I get home at a reasonable time and the sound coming from the vacuum machine won't make my neighbour come around screaming murder. Its almost like I never have enough time to do everything. Ok now, time for the pictures I promised. Sorry for the poor resolution of some of them cause I had to print screen from my Instagram account as I had just reformat my phone and many photos were gone.

Repainting the common room

As I have bought a repossessed (meaning the last owner couldn't pay up and HDB took back the flat) flat, The first things to do was to get some minor renovation done which included replacing the window hinges (they were all falling off!), installing window grills, overlaying the bathroom tiles and replacing the toilet bowl. Thankfully, I had two really very nice friends who came to help me with the cleaning and repainting. If not for them, I'd probably never finish the work!

IKEA!!! Now my favourite place to buy furniture from!

I brought Larissa to IKEA the weak after we have had the house cleaned to do some major damage to the wallet. Thank god my bonus had just came through so I can buy some furniture for the house. It was the very first time I bought any sort of furniture or bigger item from IKEA so I haven't had a single clue of what to expect. I thought it was as simple as selecting the items I want, pay for it, pay for delivery, assembly and just wait for the person to arrive within 3 working days.

On my first visit to IKEA, I bought a expedit shelf, a Trysil wardrobe, a queen size latex mattress, a Latt Children's table and a aneboda wardrobe. Only after they delivered and assembled the entire thing did I realise what an idiot I was to have paid for assembly so the second time I went to IKEA to get more stuff, I got ambitious and only paid for delivery. I bought the IKEA fixa electric screwdriver and was all ready to start assembling myself.

It took me almost 2 days to finish assembling all by myself.

The Micke desk

The Lavia Bookcase

And the biggest item is the Stornas buffet. 

The desk and bookcase were rather easy to put together but I almost killed myself while assembling the buffet. Its made of solid wood and is quite heavy. Lucky for me that I'm big strong and had only a bit of problem when I had to place the top piece of wood. I really don't encourage any ladies to do this themselves unless they are fat big like me. 

Thankfully I had a friend who was moving out of her place so she passed me her bedframe so I saved a bit on that.

Now that the furnishing is settled, I went to courts and got us a Philips 32" tv, a stand fan and a washing machine. I considered getting these items second hand but Courts was having a discount and it was almost the same price as a second hand item. The TV usually cost $599 but was going for $269, got the fan at $69 and washing machine...due to space constraints, I can only get a small one and the one I got is very small but can do 7.5kg wash so its rather worth the $300 plus I paid for it.

This is what my home currently looks like.

Almost like I haven't much isn't it? That was taken when I just moved in. I have since gotten a second hand sofa bed for the living room. I've also gotten a full bedroom set and furnished it for my tenant!

I've only just realised how tiring it can be to live without a maid. I grew up with a maid cause my mother always hired help. I have to do everything feel like a grown up now! Freedom and independence all comes at a price. Heehee

Its tough sometimes, having to juggle a kid, work and part time studies (I've started on my part time diploma) but its all for the future! I now know what its like to be always tired!

First NIght in Our New Home!

I am posting this from our new home! Finally, a place to call my own!

Its a block away from my mom's place, I have my own kitchen, I can put as much veggies in the fridge without my mom scream murder at me, the water pressure is fantastic, Larissa and I have a queen sized bed to sleep on with no need to squeeze on a single sized mattress and I have a unlimited 1gpbs fibre broadband connection!

I am so elated I cannot even start saying how excited I am!

The home is really very humble, everything is kept simple and I love it!

I am so proud that I assembled my IKEA kitchen cabinet, computer desk and bookshelf all on my own! I promise I will take picture and post them up soon!

I'm also in the midst of placing orders for mosquito screens for the windows. Living on the 2nd storey makes us prone to mozzie bites and I need to protect my darling. More money too be spent!

Oh, and I'm taking in any donation of old furniture that anyone has to give so let me know if you have any. I still need a 2 seater couch and a shoe cabinet. I'm not fussy, as long as they're in good working condition.

I'm also looking for a tenant so if you're interested to shack up with Larissa and myself, let me know. heehee!

Update again soon! Love ya all!

Looking back at 2013

The first month of 2014 is almost over and I am only just looking back at 2013. 

2013 was an okay year for me. I backpacked alone for the first time, dated a few guys but nothing good ever came out of it, ran my first 10km, started swimming regularly,  became the co-organizer of a social netball team and I learned how to appreciate food! Woohoo~!

I guess what really meant anything to me was travelling alone. Especially cause I fell so damn sick on the 3rd day, I was lying on the bed in the hostel, thinking that I'm gonna die in Vietnam. So silly right?

Oh well, I am certainly in love with travelling and I am trying to make sure I will make enough to go travelling.

In 2014, I'll be starting bridging courses to my part time diploma, taking up tennis lessons, swim more, run more, eat more, enjoy my life with Larissa, bring her to places she has never been and just do what I wanna do. I want to live the life that should have been and without regrets! I've been toying with the thought of going Macau to bungee jump for the longest time. I think I need to get it done this year!

How does one juggle a kid, work, sports and studies? I have no idea but I'm gonna do it because there's no one stopping me but myself! I'm gonna self declare that I'm 18 every year and have non-stop energy for everything.

Wait, I forgot dating. Yeah, I'm kinda sick of the dating part. Can I just see everyone but not date anyone? Hahah! I was told off by a friend yesterday though. She said I wanted the convenience of a relationship without the commitment. Oh come on, haven't I got enough commitments already?

Guard your hearts ladies, don't let anyone undeserving get it. (Sounds silly coming from me) HAHAHA!

I'm also gonna start learning to COOK. I've had enough of seeing friends post photos of the amazing looking food they cook so I am gonna start once my new home is done up. Not at my current place cause my mom is just gonna scream at me. 

One last thing, I want to learn how to put together my own computer. A desktop! Since I will be moving into my own place, only fair that I put together my own desktop right?

I feel like I'm only learning to live my life as I turn 30. Better late than NEVER!

How to Write A Love Song

I'm a woman and I am not afraid to admit that I am a sucker for love songs so this is a definitely must share. It had me in stitches. Its been around for a while but someone just shared it with me. So here, enjoy and have a good laugh. You're welcome! :)

New Look for 2014

Here you go, I finally did some updating to the look of ze blog.

Just finished a long day of billing all the clients, sending them emails on the status of their financial statements and matching of the accounts. I am mad tired!

I wish I had as much time as when I was younger and could actually do the html to tweak the blog here and there but nah, I barely have time for myself these days. I was never taught html in school so I had to do it by trial and error, changing, previewing and doing it 300 times until I got the results I wanted. Damn, I was determined. Hahah!

Anyway, if you look on the left sidebar, I have added the button to my...Instagram! Yeah, you all can follow me now! Hahahah! I've also added my Twitter so you can read me tweet nonsense! Please be warned that my twitter contain nonsensical rambling and ranting. Don't like then don't read. Don't you dare judge me! Hahha!

Please Don't Say You Love Me

Met a friend for ramen last night and we went for wine after the dinner for a long overdue catch up session. Sadly, he is also going through a divorce.

I always thought that his ex wife was the luckiest woman in the world. This man is PERFECT GREAT! (Some comment that no one is perfect, okay lah, he's a great guy k?) He cooks the most amazing looking (I've yet to try his cooking) food, he loves to travel (major plus), plays hell lots of tennis so he is super sporty (major plus plus), loves to travel (major plus plus plus) and he loved her to bits! Imagine my initial shock when I found out she cheated.

Makes me wonder what is wrong with her. She has everything perfect but she says she doesn't know what she wants. Our lives are ever changing and to be married as a couple means accepting the partner and loving them as they change. Many people choose the easy way out and just turn away from what they don't see as something they like. 

Being typical people living in Singapore (she's not local) who don't travel much, I understand that he probably rocked her world with all the travelling and trust me, a well travelled man can be very charming to a lady. The thing is, this woman was looking for an escape and my friend turned out to be the perfect excuse to escape. She thought she loved him but she didn't. I can only guess that it was because he was different from the usual local guys and she thought he is what she wanted.

Women, learn to make up your mind before you say you love someone. Don't say the three words unless you mean it from the bottom of your heart. Don't go around breaking hearts. Don't mistaken love for what the men can give you. Travel the world on your own, take a look around and you'll gain wisdom. Love is never a one way thing so don't take the men for granted. Ask yourself what you can give to the man and what you want. Be sure before you take the next step.

Did I mention that I'm now a commitment phobe? I no longer say the three words and I flee at the mere mention of anything long term. Hahah!

By the way, I got my post title from this song that I love and just thought I'd share. It describes what I think about "love" right now. Don't rush to say you love someone okay? Love comes in many form. The only person who can love me now is my darling Larissa. She is the one who tells me she loves me in the morning, at night before she goes to bed and she's the only one I can say the three words to. :)

Our Own Home!

This is such an exciting news! Larissa and I now have our own home!

We managed to get the Sale of Balance Flat in July this year and I just collected the keys! OMFG! Like so excited can! 

Okay, I know I really should blog about this more but no inspiration at the moment. Add me at dayre.me/ivyliciousme k? I think I will blog there more often since it is so much faster. I will do up my HDB post soon!!

A Mother's Nightmare: Hair Lice

On Saturday, I was preparing Larissa for dance class as usual when I noticed something odd. She had white specks on her hair near the roots of her hair.

I felt a little puzzled and decided to do a thorough check when it clicked. Larissa had hair lice. It then dawned on me that her complains of itch on her head is because of these little bastards!

I decided to let her skip her dance lesson and brought her to let my mom check. I recall having had hair lice once when I was a kid and we managed to get rid of it.

After letting my mom check, we confirmed that its hair lice. I went over to the Chinese medical hall and bought a bottle of hair lice lotion. Yeah, they sell it there! Its Malathion Lotion and you can buy it over the counter at any major pharmacy. The medical hall I bought it from was selling a bottle at $7 and Unity Pharmacy sells it at $8 per bottle.

Unfortunately, for the lotion to be applied properly/evenly, it meant that Larissa had to lose her curly long hair. We popped by the hairdresser and had her hair snipped to a short bob. Do note that even with her short bob, we had to use a full bottle of lotion on her hair.

The lotion has to be left on her hair for 12 hours so I applied it at about 6pm in the evening to be left overnight. As malathion is highly flammable, leave it to dry on its own and do not attempt to dry it faster by using a hair dryer. Place a towel under the child's head to prevent staining the sheets.

The day after, I washed her hair with normal shampoo, changed the sheets and brought the used bed sheets to the laundromat near my place.

I used the hot sterilization wash to kill the lice and its eggs. By the way, I also got the lice as we share a bed and had to use the same lotion on myself.

To ensure that the lice are all killed, repeat the lotion 7 days later to kill any other lice that have hatched.

We are now lice free and I have informed her childcare. They did a check on the rest of the kids and none of them had hair lice. Perhaps we are just unlucky and one lice crawled onto our heads. Anyway, having hair lice is not the end of the world. Lice does not spread diseases and are just pretty uncomfortable.

Always make it a point to check the kid's head for lice if they are scratching excessively. :)

Learning to Share

Not too long ago, Larissa started playing with 3 kids, 2 boys and a girl lives a few doors away from us. They are close to Larissa's age but they are always playing at the corridor.

I think it was over the Teacher's Day holiday when Larissa was bored at home and had nothing to do so my mother let her out to play with them. According to my mom, she invited them to our house to play and the rest is history. Every now and then, Larissa will ask to be let outside to play with them.

The kids seem to be cared for and yet, there's something about them. The way that no one looks for them when they pop over to our place for long period of time and the fact that they are at Larissa's age but they still can't articulate well. Almost like there is no one there to guide or teach them.

Last night, I got home late after swimming and was told by my brother's girlfriend that Larissa gave one of her three lanterns to them after she learnt that they had none. It was really heart warming to know that my little girl, my baby is learning to share what she has with the less well off.

We are certainly not rich but we are blessed. Friends and family bought lanterns for Larissa for the Mid-Autumn festival celebrations and she shared her blessings with the other children. The other children tried to come back and return the lantern but we told them that its for them.

I am certainly very impressed with Larissa. Its like a big milestone. A big big achievement. I have always wanted Larissa to be compassionate and to have a big heart and it looks like its working.

My baby is growing up. :)

Discovering the Arty Farty Side of Me

I have always had my own interpretation of art but I have never really looked into it because I am horrible at art. I mean colors, drawing and sketching that kinda stuff. I can't tell many colours apart and I draw horribly. Anyone who sees what I draw will probably start foaming at the mouth. LOL

This week was a little different. After the very long procrastination, my friend and I visited the Singapore Art Museum and NAFA respectively on Tuesday and Wednesday.

The current exhibition going on at the Singapore Art Museum is titled, "Terms & Conditions".

From the website:

The phrase “terms & conditions” often refers to the fixed set of guidelines at the basis of any official contract or agreement. While these extensive specifications are sometimes overlooked in everyday practice, their implementation can powerfully dictate the representation and interaction between people, entities and countries, as well as set parameters that appear rigid over time. Yet, taken apart, the words “terms” and “conditions” convey fluid and precarious concepts that can, in actuality, be continually negotiated and modified.

Many artists with roots in the Arab world work simultaneously across different geographic, physical and cultural contexts, making it difficult to define and constrain them to specific identities and representations. Their work is thus a result of a variety of techniques, which enables them to navigate and speak within multiple contexts.

Terms & Conditions presents an open-ended debate into how history and social realities are represented, with an emphasis on the Arab world. One of the first Southeast Asian surveys of contemporary art from this dynamic region, the exhibition showcases works by artists with roots in the Arab world. These artists work across different geographic and cultural contexts, and through a combination of techniques, to produce unique artworks that fluidly traverse and defy social identities and representations.

It was interesting looking at all the art pieces and wondering what was the artist thinking when they created it. Do pay the museum a visit since admission is free for Singaporeans. Just remember to bring your NRIC and don't be a goondu like me to leave mine at home. It will cost you 10 bucks for that admission ticket.

Wednesday was NAFA's 75th Anniversary's Opening Ceremony and I just tagged went along with my friend who was invited. *shhhhh*

My friend was saying that the art pieces at NAFA are of a higher caliber and of course, more "deep", which I had to agree. I really had to stand in front of it, stare at it for ages to try and contemplate what is it about. This auntie has got rusty old brain that hasn't been used for quite a while okay...

We also watched a video by local artist, Ming Wong titled, "Angst Essen – Eat Fear". According to my friend, Ming Wong is a pretty famous guy who is known to act all the characters in his movies. As I only watched it partially, I went home and did a search on YouTube to try and find the full movie. Here's the trailer to the movie by him and here's the original full movie.

I still catch no ball as to why Ming Wong wants to redo a movie, acting all characters on his own though. I've tried to read a few articles on him but still no clue. Okay, maybe I'm shallow like that lah.

"Angst Essen – Eat Fear" is about a German woman who marries a Arab man half her age. Due to the fact that he is a lot younger and a foreigner, the woman was viewed as a whore by everyone around her, even her own children who disowned her. Ming Wong's version of the movie made me laugh and isn't as "heavy" as the original. Perhaps he is redoing it to bring the movie to shallow people like me. :p

I also kissed a frog at NAFA!! Local artist, Ezzam Rahman put up a exhibition where we got to fish for a frog from the water and bring it home. Only condition is that we promise to take care of it and we tag our photos on Instagram.

Mad cute right? HAHAH~!

My mom was asking me about the frog this morning and she wanted to throw it away. My reaction, "but mommy, if you throw away my frog, I will never find my prince!" So drama right? By the way, I thought Ezzam is really cute. Oh well. :p

My frog did not turn into a prince though. Maybe there will be a miracle as long as I keep hoping.

Okays, enough for one post now. Till next time. :)

My Little Dancer

Larissa started ballet classes some time in April this year. I know...late post again. Hahaha...

Anyway, it is thought that kids below the age of 6 are not suitable for the real Pointe Ballet so what they do now is dance and rhythm, to let them have a feel of that it will be like. These classes teach kids to enjoy dancing and to learn to catch rhythm. They can start at about 3 years old. 

Larissa's dance school is called Little Dance Academy and is located at Pandan Valley. I live in Toa Payoh so every Saturday morning, we get up early to have breakfast together as our bonding time before we embark on a 45 minutes travel to the dance school. 

We need to take one feeder bus from our home to Caldecott Station transfer to a train to Holland Village before we take another bus and drop near her dance school. Her dance class is 45 minutes and I'll just wait for her to finish before we start the journey home again. 

You must be thinking that I'm crazy to go through so much to go to a dance school so far away when there are so many others that are near to my place. HAHAH!

There are many dance schools out there but I know Larissa's dance teacher MAJORED in ballet when she was in school and she graduated from LASALLE College of the Arts Singapore. Call me racist but she is a true blue Singaporean and can communicate with my child better than the PRC teachers who have difficulty communicating with the kids, especially the Caucasian kids. Its literally chicken and duck talk (鸡同鸭讲). She also teaches better than the rest of the half bucket water (半桶水) people out that there who took a 3 month class or did a project on ballet in school and come out to teach. 

The past few months that I've sat around eavesdropping listening to parents chit chat and all I hear are praises for this teacher. 

Enough of my rambling on, here's some photos and videos. :)

My precious insisted on carrying my bag for me when I told her I was tired on our way to her dance class.

Her usual breakfast. She made me remove the yolks coz she doesn't like them.

This is her ballet teacher!

Getting down on her knees to interact with the kids

They also do stretching. Look at Larissa's big tum tum. LOL!

Divorce Proceedings...

After close to 3 years of separation, its finally getting somewhere.

 

My divorce proceedings has finally started!

 

Its a whole lot faster than I think!

 

I goggled for a bit and found Raymond Lim &Co.

 

Mr. Lim quoted me a very reasonable price and I decided to go ahead.

 

I paid him a deposit of $1000 on our first consulation, if you decide not to use him then I think the first consultation is $150.

 

Two weeks after I went for the first consultation, I received the draft documents from Mr. Lim. After having read through them and having the ex approve them as well, he fixed an appointment with the ex to sign the documents.

 

Two weeks after the ex signed the documents, I went down to sign another documents.

 

I recall having signed up with him in Feb and I will be getting my interim judgement (temporary divorce papers) sometime near the end of May! The final divorce papers are expected to be ready in August!

 

Gosh, the feeling of being free is so exciting!

 

Oh, its been a while since I posted anything so here's a photo of my cute Larissa. LOL

First Game in a Netball League!

Last evening, the mixed netball team I'm in played our first game in a mixed social league!

Though we lost 29:12, it was an amazing game and we had lots of fun!

Our team of players only started playing together 3 months back and we had only about 10 games together so I'd say we are doing really good!

Playing in a league is so different from playing socially, like the games we usually play. Our social games are more relaxed and slower while the league game was really fast and it does get one's adrenaline pumping.

We will only get better as time gets on and hopefully, we will join a lot more leagues to come!

Third Parties in A Relationship

Edited Post

This ZR/Alvin/Yuki scandal is all over the blogsphere. It appears that many people are condemning Zoe Raymond for coming in between a relationship that was heading for marriage.

Coming from a marriage wrecked by a third party, here are my own two cents.

I think all parties at fault. 6 months after I left my ex, I realised that there has been warning signs all along and I just did not pay much notice to it. Perhaps my being married made me think that things will work out and I shouldn't pay too much attention to it.

My ex was too easily tempted. He cheated twice in less than 6 months. It only went to show how vulnerable he was to temptation. Part of me would like to think that all men are the same but I do know of men who will reject all temptation.

The third party - yes, I hated her. I have so much hatred for her that I probably can still kick her in the face if I see her now but as a woman, I know what its like when you meet someone you think is the love of your life. This woman claimed that she had no idea he was married but I guess all third party will claim the same.

I blame mostly on my own marriage being not strong enough. Now, coming two years to having left him, I feel good. I don't need anyone else but Larissa in my life and that is good enough.

I hope that Yuki will find the strength in her to move on. She will realise in future that his cheating on her is good and she will find a better man in future.


On a side note, I really don't think Zoe Raymond is remotely pretty...Just A LOT of make up...and the fact that she promotes herself as a model? I'm sorry but she's too short to be a model in my eyes. To me, a real model should at least be 1.73m but she can barely hit the 1.65m mark.