Major Depression

I don't know why but I am feeling so depressed. My nipples are sore and hurt like mad when I am feeding Larissa as she does not know how to latch on properly. I've no idea how to make her latch on properly when she has been latching on wrongly the past few days.

I feel so tired. I haven't been getting much sleep due to waking up and feeding Larissa. I wish I can sleep a full 8 hours.

I miss my hubby. Yes, he has been here to visit me and even stay over with me but I miss being alone with him. I miss having time for ourselves, I miss hugging him to sleep.

I feel so guilty when I look at my baby, guilty of the way I've behaved all these years and they way that I speak to my mother. Being a mother myself, I can't help but think of the way my mother felt when she first held me in her hands, when she first breastfed me and when she loved me.

I believe that she too, wanted the best for me just like the way I want the best for Larissa. I feel so ashamed of myself. Sighs....