Raving Mad!

An incredulous thing happened yesterday. I received a message on Facebook from........The Woman! (in case you have not been following my blog, this is the main person in the big affair fiasco)

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The message started innocent enough, with her saying that she had no intention whatsoever to hook up my husband or make him leave me and she would like to meet me out to clarify things. From my point of view, I have clarified things with my husband and there is no any need for further clarification with her. I told her straight that I know it was my husband who was at fault but she is not totally free of fault. She knew that he was married and should have kept her distance, it is not appropriate to be so close that even your friends think that you are dating. Anyway, I have decided to let the matter rest and I will not meet her or contact her in any way. The next message I received from her was her saying that she is going to the police for me threatening her. I wonder when did I threaten her? Anyway, I told her to go ahead if she thinks she has a case. LOL. Silly isn't it?

Later that night, I received a call from her "godsis" asking me out to meet which I flatly turned down. My husband had already told me everything so I don't think there is much to be clarified. She kept insisting on meeting and said that there are no motives and that I can even bring my parents along. Seriously, what can we talk about? What is it that cannot be said over the phone? Ultimate stupidity, in my opinion.

After my rejection, I think she got angry and said that she has made a police report and if anything untoward happens to Sophie, I will be held responsible. Utter disgrace I think, so childish! Going to the police when people don't want to meet her. She thinks she is a three year old kiddo? If she has really got a case then get a lawyer to sue me! Why waste my time? LOL! I think this is the perfect example of what we Chinese say 惱羞成怒 which translates to shame that becomes anger.

If she had done nothing, then why be afraid of tongues wagging? I think it only proves a guilty conscience.

One more thing, why did she get her "godsis" to speak to me? Why can't she talk to me personally? By getting someone else to talk to me, it shows that she has no whatsoever respect for me. So why should I even speak to her.

Am I The Last To Know?

This is what I found on my husband's Facebook. I don't have his password but he forgot to log off so I can see what he left on his friend's account. So, does this imply that I am the last to know about his relationship and his friends all know that they are together?

I questioned him about this and the reply from him was that he and this girl are so close, people all think that they are dating even though they are not. Is this right of a married man?

What are your thoughts on this?

After I checked his phone, he was again, bugging me about his "privacy". How to give a man who cheats his "privacy"?

Please comment and let me have your views.

What Cheaters Say

I came across this website in which people who were cheated by their spouse posted up what their spouse say after being caught cheating. Amazingly, my husband actually said some of the same things!

These are what they said in which was similar to what he said:

My cheater said:

"You are trying to control me and it is not going to be that way"

My cheater said:

"Nothing is happening, we are just friends, and enjoy each others company. You are really blowing this out of proportion"

My cheater said:
"why were you checking my phone anyway?"

My cheater said:
"we are just buddies and nothing else!"

My cheater said:
"The only reason i was talking to her was about us"

So can I conclude that most cheating spouse use the same excuses?

What She Posted...

My husband claims that there's nothing between them but look what I found in his email. 

How do you interpret this? Muaaahhhhhxxxx as in LOL  or as in kisses? By the way, I forgot to add that I never saw this on his Facebook page and he claims that he has never seen it himself. What a big fat liar. 

Muaaahhhhhhhxxxxx as in LOL or as in Kisses?
	LOL
	Kisses
pollcode.com free polls

Video Updates!

Larissa's Milestones

At 10 months 3 weeks, Larissa has started calling me Ma Ma!


Here's the milestone for 8 - 12 months:


Month 8 to 12

MOVEMENT
x Gets to sitting position without assistance 
x Crawls forward on belly
x Assumes hand and knee position
x Creeps on hands and knees
x Gets from sitting to crawling or prone (lying on stomach) position 
x Pulls self up to standing position
x Walks holding on to furniture
x Stands momentarily without support
May walk two or three steps without support 

HAND AND FINGER SKILLS
x Uses pincer grasp (grasp using thumb and index finger) 
x Bangs two one-inch cubes togetherx Puts objects into container 
x Takes objects out of container (10-12 mos.)
x Pokes with index fingerTries to imitate scribbling

COGNITIVE
x Explores objects in many different ways (shaking, banging, throwing,dropping) 
x Finds hidden objects easily (10-12 mos.)
x Looks at correct picture when image is namedx Imitates gestures 

LANGUAGE MILESTONES
x Responds to simple verbal requests
x Responds to “no” ( She cries when I tell her no and comes crawling back to me!)
 Makes simple gestures such as shaking head for no
x Babbles with inflection 

OBSERVED
x Babbles “dada” and “mama” (Finally!)
x Says “dada” and “mama” for specific person x Uses exclamations such as “oh-oh”

SOCIAL/EMOTIONAL
 Shy or anxious with strangers (She never is anxious with anyone!)
x Cries when mother or father leaves 
x Enjoys imitating people in his play x Shows specific preferences for certain people and toys 
x Prefers mother and/or regular care provider over all others 
x Repeats sounds or gestures for attention
x Finger-feeds himself 
 Extends arm or leg to help when being dressed



It was really satisfying to hear one's baby call one ma ma. Its like, I am finally being recognized for my months of hard work. Even when she cries out for me, she will cry for ma ma! Awww....I love her! 


She has also started lifting herself up, standing and then letting go of her support! She can even stand and clap her hands! Soon, she will be running all over! 

Abnormal?

I seriously think that my husband is abnormal. Why so? Let me explain...

If you have been reading my blog, you will know the fiasco that just blew over. He had an affair, I found out and I forgave him for once...blah blah blah...Now, let me ask you, what will you do if you are in his shoes? Will you go drinking have have fun or will you stay home for some time, behave yourself and prove that you can be trusted before you start hanging out again? I mean, its something that every human will do right? If you are in the wrong and is full of remorse, you will behave yourself for a while right?

That is what I thought but it is apparently not so! At least not with my husband! He is still asking me for permission to go out drinking, despite the fact that he knows I hate it when he goes drinking. There is no point for me to say no coz he will just keep pestering me that he wants to go. Weird isn't it? Thats why I say that he is abnormal. Perhaps he is simply living in his own world and he does not think that he needs to regain my trust and that I should trust him.

I think I need to bring him to a psychiatrist. There must be something seriously wrong with him.

Everything is alright now...

I have decided to trust my husband one last time and stay with him.

What I can't trust him as in letting him have his own "personal space" anymore. I have become very paranoid and will text or call him to check on him if he does not come home on time. Even when he asks for my permission to go drinking with his friends, I will tell him he is not allowed to go.

This episode has made us more loving though, as I finally understood how I have been neglecting him and his feelings for a long while. I guess my "obsession" with Larissa is too much. Its time I let go a little and not be so uptight.

没有人 No One..

我问你最近认识什么人
你的沉默已经比你先承认
没有 你对我说没有人
我陪你开车兜圈昏沉沉
你的拥抱说著你不诚恳
没有 你对我说没有人
你为他失了魂
你为他从早到晚等著电话
等著没有人 你曾经对我说
这世界上没有人会像我为你
被风吹不冷 哦 没有人
你车上开始出现你我从来不爱听的歌
你曾经对我说
这世界上没有人会带走一点你对我真
待我问候没有人

I asked you who you met recently
Your silence has admitted before you did
No one, you said no one
I accompanied you while you drove around with nowhere to go till we are fatigued
But I can feel your insincere embrace
No one, you tell me no one
You lost yourself for her
You wait for her call from dusk till dawn
You ever told me that you are waiting for no one
You once told me that no one else will love you like I did
You start playing songs that I never listen to in your car
You once told me that nothing in this world can take away your love for me
Please help me say hi to no one

说好的幸福呢?

你的回话凌乱着 在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽 甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯 我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌 假作没事了
时间过了 走了 爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
离开时的不快乐 你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这 真的痛了
怎么了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心 一一细数着 你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢
程翦星制作QQ:1030025459
你的回话凌乱着 在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽 甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯 我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌 假作没事了
时间过了 走了 爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
离开时的不快乐 你用卡片手写着
有些爱只给到这 真的痛了
怎么了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心 一一细数着 你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢
怎么了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
我都还记得
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢

How?

I remember the days when we first fell in love, everything seem to be perfect.

When we were trying to capture every second we spent with each another

When we spoke, there was only sweet whispers and loud laughters

We had our own little jokes that only we and nobody else would understand

We need no words and everything would be understood.

As time passed, things seem to change.

Our love lacked lustre, our passion lost its flame, our words cold and painful

How did our love come to a standstill?

When did our hearts lose their way?

Will our passion burn again?

Only time can tell...

HEY YOU!

Yes YOU!

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Explainations?

I had a long talk with my husband. He claims to be only good friends with the girl. He claims that all he has ever did was to talk to her, to confide in her.

He says that after the birth of Larissa, I have been neglecting him. We haven't had a date for some time and we don't even talk anymore which is true. Well, Larissa sleeps with us in the same room, she is always asleep when he reaches home and he tends to talk loudly and wake Larissa up. He doesn't want to talk in the living room to the ears of the family...so, how to talk? Actually, I have been neglecting him but I thought he would understand. Apparently he didn't so, he confided in the girl.

Okay. What about the saving of her mobile number under a man's name? What about those dates that he had with her? Those nights he spent outside? How do you explain that?

Oh, I still think she is a slut coz she posted the photos long before I found out about them but she tagged him only after he told him that I don't like them being together. What is she trying to prove?

I am tired...

I really am very tired. Sick and tired of all his lies.

His iPhone rang last night when my husband fell asleep. Though its not logged in, it says that he was tagged in some photos. I knew that something was wrong but I couldn't view it as I do not have his password. He says its his privacy. Anyway, I reset his password and logged in. Guess what I saw? Photos of him and the girl! Behaving like a couple. Apparently, he lied about having never dated her alone and he went on many dates with the girl. Well, he claims that those are group outings, and I wonder why is there only photographs of the TWO of them. They went prawning, played pool, went prawning and even went cycling at ECP.

Previously, he claimed that the girl's name is Jennifer, that she don't have Facebook and he has deleted her contacts. The girl's name is actually Sophie Lee, she does have Facebook and I don't know if he has deleted her contacts as he might have saved it under a guy's name like he did the last time. Earlier, when he claimed that he did nothing with the girl and that the girl has a boyfriend, I asked that I meet the girl and her boyfriend to clarify everything. Now, it seems that he is not as innocent as he seems to be huh?

My mother called me this morning to tell me that there are photographs of him and the girl on the internet. My friend is a common friend of my husband and this girl and she saw the photos and showed them to my mother. What can I say? Sighs.

I asked him if the girl knows about us, he says yes, she knows that I am angry then why is this girl tagging photos of him? Isn't she trying to be funny? She is out to destroy our marriage. Such a slut but I thank her. It is thanks to her that I know what a bloody fuzking liar he is.

How can I ever learn to trust him again? I don't think I can. I just can't anymore.

Random..

My precious is already 10 months old but she still wakes up for night feeds at least once a night.

This morning, she woke up at 5.45am for her feed. Its really cute to see her jut her butt high up in the air and then sit up looking groggy with eyes still closed.

After I fed her, I tried putting her back to sleep but she is kinda awake already. She proceeded to climb onto me  and just laid her head on me while I patted her. I started stroking her hair as well and I can see her hand following the rhythm of my patting her.

After a while, she fell back to sleep. So sweet isn't it? I love her, I really really do. I love her more than I love anyone and/or anything in the world.

Video Updates!

I is back at his place.

I am back at my husband's place. How do I feel about it? I feel that he hasn't changed at all. He doesn't seem to be sorry at all. He still treats me that same, he just refuse to talk about it.

I regret going back to his place but what am I to do? My mum is chasing me out of the house! She says that I need to "give face" to my inlaws since they came to my place. Come on lah! My father-in-law himself used to have a mistress at his previous workplace where they were working together. Of course he is someone who will defend his son's ways. My mother-in-law knew about the relationship but kept quiet. So, how much credibility do they have? I should give them "face" and give up on my own happiness?

My husband turns a violent man every single time he touches alcohol and he won't quit drinking. Now that I am staying with my inlaws, there is someone to shield me but what if we move into our place in 3 years time? Who is going to shield me? Am I supposed to suffer?

Why can't my mother understand that it is better to let us go separate ways now? Why wait till 3 years later and let Larissa witness her daddy hitting her mummy? They say that its not good to let a child see her parents separated, so its good to let her witness violence at home?

I really don't understand what they are thinking. If Larissa has a unhappy childhood, it is all my mother's fault for it is she who forced me to go back to him.

I hate my life, I hate my marriage and I hate my mother.

Should I?

My inlaws came to my mum's place with my husband yesterday. They asked that I forgive my husband and that I bring Larissa home.

My husband claims that he had only started contacting the girl - his ex-classmate- only two weeks back and that he saved her name under a man's name as he was afraid that I'd be angry. He also claimed to have never met her up alone and never even held her hand.

Should I believe him?

He started behaving suspiciouly a few months back. Locking up his phone and deleting every single one of his messages. He started going to chalets where he spent the night at, something that he never did before.

My mum says that I should go back as my inlaws have made the trip down to explain things and they promise that it will never happen again. It hurts me to see my mother in law so hurt.

I really don't know if I can trust again. Maybe I'm lucky enough to have caught my husband early, before anything really started but will I always be so lucky?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

My Husband Is An Asshole

Only yesterday night, I found out my husband is having an affair.

I woke up last night to go have a drink and I have no idea why I had the urge to look at his handphone.

My husband would normally delete his messages but last night he did not as he drank earlier and is perhaps a little tipsy
As I scrolled through his messages, I found intimate messages between him and a number he stored as "Alan". I walk to his mum who was still awake and told her straight to her face that hee son is havin an affair.

I called the number and it was a girl who answered the call. I kept asking her who is she and why arr there intimate messages between her and my husband but she wouldn't tell me. All she would say is that she is his ex-classmate and that I should ask my husband who is she and what is their relationship. At this point of time I was trembling with anger already while that jerk is still sleeping in the room.

I was so angry I switched on the lights in our room and started scolding him. No way am I going to live with a man who cheats. I carried my baby into my mother-in-law's room and I told all of them that I am leaving for good. I tried to take snapshots of the SMS and sent them to my phone but that bastard deleted everything while I wss busy packing.

You know what is the best part? Instead of being sorry, he kept insisting that I had forced him to have an affair. He kept trying to justify that he is right to have an affair! Imagine my anger! I called my mother and told her of the useless j ways and as I walked past him, he punched me in the back of my head!

As I packed up and go, my mother-in-law and father-in-law kept asking me not to go and to go only the next day as it was already midnight. My father-in-law then said that we can talk things out in the morning. That further angered me! This is not something to talk about! He had a bloody fucking affair! There is no room for discussion!

I asked my husband if he still wanted to be with the woman and he said yes! Right in front of my father-in-law! I told my father-in-law to take a good look at this useless son of his.

I packed my bags, grabbed my baby and left. If there is anything I can forgive, that is a cheating husband. Even on my way back in the cab, he is insisting that it is my fault and he questions why I can't forgive him. I tol him to go ask his sister if she can forgive her husband if he did the same and he went quiet.

What I really thought is ridiculous is how he kept insisting that I was the one who forced him to have an affair! He even tried to say that I was having another man outside. Now I know why he is always claiming to go to chalets and staying overnight. So he was with that slut!

He is asking for forgiveness now but I know I will never forgive. I am now a single parent!

It's shocking how things can change overnight. Just yesterday I was thinking that I should try to be better to my husband and that we should spend more time together. Now I know he don't deserve to have me being good to him.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Larissa stands by the window peering out at the cars.