Dear friends, I will be going bald for the Children Cancer Foundation's Hair for Hope Project 2010.

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Hair for Hope 2010

It's been more than 6 months since the birth of Larissa and I have still got 18kg more to lose!! WTF!!!

I think its about time that I curb my eating as I've been gorging myself. Especially on days when I can't seem to express enough milk.

I seem to think that only by eating more will I get more milk. I know its very wrong but I tend to binge when the milk supply is low cause I actually feel depressed.

Somehow, I think breastfeeding has done me more harm than good. I tend to be very emotional when I can't get enough milk and I will snap at my hubby or just anyone who steps on my tail accidentally.

I have also been binge eating so much that I am not losing any weigh at all, in fact, I am putting on the pounds.

It doesn't help that Larissa is going through the milk strike period and is drinking only 120mls per session. I am trying to feed her more semi solids but she is rejecting them. I have tried sweet potato puree, apple puree, pear puree and white grain cereal but she just rejects them all. She will take a few mouths and then refuse to eat.

What am I going to do next??

I'm a paranoid mama. Period.

I don't allow people - mother-in-law or my mom - to give Larissa anything else that what I told them to. Absolutely no outside food at all.

I see some mummies giving their baby everything that they are having and I am kind of disgusted at that because in my opinion, babies should not be taking food with so much additives. I know I might offend some of you out there but it is only my opinion. I'm not gonna reprimand you for doing that but I just think that we shouldn't...

Larissa seems to have started going on milk strikes. She no longer wants to drink her milk. She take about 100mls on average and what is worse is that she is refusing to take her cereal and will stop after a few mouthfuls. Sighs....I'm not there to look after her and I don't know how I can help.

Die die want to watch tv...

 Giving her innocent face. lol.

Larissa is having fungal infection in her crotch area and her armpit - one side only.

She has been having redness at her crotch area and her armpit for the past few days. Initially, I brushed it off as nappy rash but yesterday her crotch area was a angry red color and looked like it had a fungal infection (I'm so thankful for my training as a nurse).

I found a pediatrician at Yishun which operates till 9pm and off we go to the doctors. 

Guess what the doctor said? Larissa is overweight and she is so chubby, the fats are keeping her crotch and armpit areas moist and warm - perfect for fungal infection. She initially wanted to tell me to cut down on her feeds but when she learned that Larissa is totally breastfed, she got a bit of a surprise. Hurhur...

Anyway, my poor girl now need to have her crotch and armpit area cleaned with purple lotion 4 times a day. The thing is...the pediatrician says that it will come back coz this will be a recurring problem! Wah Piang!!

I only realised recently that my life seems to have come to a halt after the birth of Larissa. There are so many things that I had plans for before I got pregnant and they all seem to be so far away and out of reach.

First of all, my motorcycle licence. I was at Practical 4 before I got pregnant. Only 4 more lessons to go. I'm contemplating going for lesson soon. I have to get my motorcycle!

Secondly, my plan to go for a diploma. I have only got a NITEC and its not sufficient. I'm planning a diploma in business, sales and marketing or even something to do with the media industry.

Thirdly, I haven't been clubbing for more than a year! I was walking home yesterday, listening to the songs on my iphone and a R&B song came up and I soooooo miss grooving to the music! I was almost dancing on the streets! haha...

In order for me to fulfill all of those, I think I will have to wait till I wean Larissa off breastmilk. Sighs....

Its a long way to go seeing that I intend to total breastfeed Larissa until she turns one year old.

My precious Larissa might have to go to an infant care centre soon. My mother-in-law who is taking care of her at the moment, has decided that she does not want to stay home to look after Larissa and that she is better off working outside.

I must say that is pretty interesting, seeing that she used to be a babysitter and would spend her days at home looking after other people's children. 

Perhaps its because of my "high-expectations". My insisting on no water for Larissa and cannot anyhow feed Larissa - I'm now insisting on no porridge, only purees and cereal for Larissa - which she is very unfamiliar with.

Maybe coz of my wanting her to bathe Larissa while I am at home...before I go to work, so that I can test the water temperature before she bathe Larissa. 

Its not that I want to nit-pick over what she does but the very first day she took over taking care of Larissa, she almost cooked burnt my poor baby alive. I was getting ready for work when my mother-in-law was bathing her. I heard a yell from Larissa and I thought it was weird since she is normally quite a quiet baby so I went to take a look and I found her lower body all red. I then tested the water and it was scorching hot! I got quite a shock myself and told my mother-in-law to put in more cold water as its too hot. My mother-in-law then mumbled that she on the hot water and forgot to check the temperature before placing baby in the tub. I was flabbergasted but I don't believe what she said. I know that she has a habit of shampooing Larissa's head while carrying her before putting her into the tub. This happened not once, but twice - I checked the water another time and found the water to be very hot. I seriously suspect there is something wrong with my mother-in-law's sense of touch....how to trust like that?

She also has the habit of getting Larissa's bathwater ready and not bathing her immediately. She will take her time to play with Larissa - something I don't like because the water would have cooled down too much already...Sighs.

I read from some mommies that eating oat actually helps increase one's milk supply thus

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I brought a tin of this to eat in office. No more rice! Only oatmeal!