Ever felt like everything in your life is in a blur?
I've felt this way for a long long time. Ever since I don't know how long ago, everything in my life seems to just whirl pass me.
Every single day is a routine. I wake up in the mornings, come back home, watch tv, climb into bed hugging my precious girl and repeat the same routine the next day.
Ask me what I did today and I can't really give you an answer because everyday feels the same. Ask me what I did last week and I can tell you I cannot recall.
I feel like I'm on Superwoman mode. Having to play mother to my girl, sister to my sister and daughter to my mom.
I feel so numbed to every single thing in my life. Its like I'm running on auto mode. I haven't really cried after finding out the truth about my husband. Because there is no point in crying.
Friends ask me if I'm alright and I always smile and say I'm doing ok. Because there is no way to feel any other way. Yes, I do feel like running away from it all but what's the good of running? I'll have to face it all one day.
Everyone has been telling me to be strong for my girl but what does it really mean to be strong? Is what I'm doing considered being strong?
I've felt this way for a long long time. Ever since I don't know how long ago, everything in my life seems to just whirl pass me.
Every single day is a routine. I wake up in the mornings, come back home, watch tv, climb into bed hugging my precious girl and repeat the same routine the next day.
Ask me what I did today and I can't really give you an answer because everyday feels the same. Ask me what I did last week and I can tell you I cannot recall.
I feel like I'm on Superwoman mode. Having to play mother to my girl, sister to my sister and daughter to my mom.
I feel so numbed to every single thing in my life. Its like I'm running on auto mode. I haven't really cried after finding out the truth about my husband. Because there is no point in crying.
Friends ask me if I'm alright and I always smile and say I'm doing ok. Because there is no way to feel any other way. Yes, I do feel like running away from it all but what's the good of running? I'll have to face it all one day.
Everyone has been telling me to be strong for my girl but what does it really mean to be strong? Is what I'm doing considered being strong?
2 comments:
Staying strong means... getting on with life with a smile. Letting HIM totally go... better yourself... find someone who deserves you... live a happy life. Make sure you're hundred thousand times in a better life than he is. =D
Are you okay? Of course you're not! But the fact that you're able to carry on your life being a filial daughter, a good mother to your daughter, despite having an asshole of a husband, says a lot about your strength. You're a role model for us women out there and I thank you. I wish my mother had the guts like you to leave my cheating father years ago. But sadly, my mom's too traditional and too weak. In the end, me, her daughter, has to switch roles and be a mother to my mother. Ironic? Which daughter wants to see her mother suffer alone, crying tears that her own husband don't even care about? I think you did the right thing by leaving your husband. Like my father, a cheating man will never change his ways. My father has been cheating for 20 over years and each time my mom finds out, he said he'll change...
I'm really proud of you as you've shown that women like us do not need to depend on a man to survive. We really don't. That's why I've been skeptical about marriage...don't want shit to happen to me like my mom. But again, not every man out there is an asshole... I sympathize in you and you have all my blessings in being an independent women. Educate your daughter well, and she'll definitely look up to you like I look up to you. You possess immense strength and it has been an honor reading your blog!
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